


Of Dogs and Bathtimes

by AgingPhangirl (Madophelia)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Dogs, Domestic Fluff, Drabble, Fluff, M/M, inspired by a selfie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-02 23:00:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11519289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madophelia/pseuds/AgingPhangirl
Summary: Dan and Phil give Colin the dog a bath. That's it.A spiritual cousin toOf Dogs and Solutions





	Of Dogs and Bathtimes

**Author's Note:**

> I said I wouldn't do this on [Twitter](http://twitter.com/agingfangirl) but then a few of you told me I had to so… here you go.
> 
> Come say hi on [Tumblr](http://agingphangirl.tumblr.com) & [Twitter](http://twitter.com/agingfangirl)

Colin manages to do what Phil has been failing to do all day. Dan knows he's trying, he'd left Dan to his music on the train, had shuffled up close in his seat and let the back of his hand just glance again Dan's thigh out of sight and it had been dimly comforting, but there isn't much anyone can do in these situations. 

Dna is hyper-aware from the time they step into the open air of the train platform to the time they make it into the taxi, and he keeps glancing out of the window as if someone will see him any minute and chase the car down to confront him,

"It will be okay," Phil says finally, once they're settled into the back seat. 

"Yeah," Dan replies, nonchalance evidently what he's going but but missing it by a mile. "Of course." 

Phil's mouth curves into that smile he uses when he doesn't really buy into Dan's shit but he knows Dan needs to get away with it for now. He'll always allow it, Dan knows, there will be time to make it up to him later, once this weekend is over.

For now he's just grumpy about having to come back home, which is never his favourite thing to do.

He receives a text just as they're turning out of the station car park and he's not entirely surprised at his parent's flakiness. They're always last-minute people, a little disorganised and forgetful. It's probably where it gets it from.

"They're aren't even there," Dan says, shoving his phone back in his pocket, pondering over whether he should be relieved but finding that in fact it's just making him more angry. "And I have to wash the dog." 

That's the kicker. 'We forgot we had to go somewhere tonight we'll be back tomorrow but could you give Colin a bath?'. Not only are they not there to greet him for his visit but they've given him chores.

"We're giving Colin a bath?" 

The way Phil's eyes light up and the way he automatically says 'we' melts Dan's heart just a bit, but it doesn't thaw him out completely. He's still a little grumpy about this whole thing and on edge about bumping into anyone he knows. Twitter is his only solace for the rest of the journey, with a mildly excited Phil at his side. He tweets with one hand and lets his other drift onto Phil's side of the car seat and hooks his little finger over Phil's. He's done it a bunch of times before, of course, it's sort of their go-to gesture for physical affection in the back of unfamiliar cars, but he's never noticed how nice it is before. Phil accepts it without comment and looks out of the window, vibrating slightly with the idea of Colin, as though he'd forgotten there was a dog awaiting them on the other end.

Stepping into the house using the key that he's had on his key ring for forever is familiar and yet strange all at the time same time. He feels like he should be knocking, like he's letting himself into a house that isn't his. But then, 'home' has been with Phil for so long and it's only been enhanced by the fact that they've moved into their third house together now. 

At the sound of him entering he hears the scratch of Colin's claws on the laminate flooring and soon enough his fluffy little body comes careening around the corner from the living room and bounding up to him. Dan crouches down to greet him and at the first lap of his wet tongue on Dan's cheek, Colin manages to cheer him up.

"Hey boy," he says, running fingers behind the dog's ears, scratching slightly and making Colin's tail wag. "Aren't you a good boy? Yes you are." 

Phil drops into a crouch by his side and is making similar nonsense noises. Colin is torn between the two points of affections zipping quickly between the two, lapping at their hands and jumping excitedly. His weight lands on both of them awkwardly and it's not exactly comfortable but the dog's excitement at seeing them both and their ever-present love for anything of the fluffy canine variety quickly overshadows any discomfort. 

"Aw," Phil says and Colin rubs his head into his hand affectionately. "He's so cute Dan, look!" 

Phil's childlike wonder is breathtaking and he can't help but duck over to him, sliding his knee on the floor and kissing him quickly. He feels Phil's mouth still stretched into a smile as their lips connect and he curves his own in response. It's less of a kiss and more of a meeting of their matching grins but Dan likes it anyway. 

He still has his hands on Colin's back, stroking him, but he stills for a moment, distracted by the kissing, and Phil must too because Colin is disgruntled at the pause in affection and jumps up between them with a little bark for attention. 

They part, laughing down at the fluffy intruder. 

"Yes, yes" Dan says, patting at the dog again, "we're still paying attention to you don't worry."

"Could we bath him now?" Phil asks, his voice eager and his eyes wide. 

Dan can't help but laugh, because of course Phil can't wait to spend time with the dog. Dan realises he's feeling lighter and more relaxed than he has all day. "Okay," he says, rolling his eyes fondly, "Let's just put our stuff away." 

They make their way to his bedroom, which is still his in name only, all of his stuff having been removed a long time ago. It's still as brown as ever but now there is a double bed in the centre of it and very little other furniture. He chucks his backpack into the centre of it and watches as Phil does the same. 

"Sorry I'm grumpy," he says, curving forwards and touching his forehead to Phil's bicep.

Phil curls and arm up over his shoulder and squeezes him gently. "It's fine," he says, and it really is. 

Dan feels a soft nudge on the back of his leg and he turns to see Colin blinking up at him. 

"Oh you've followed us have you?" He says.

"He knows it's bath time," Phil says sagely. "He's excited about it."

"Is he really?" Dan asks, "Told you that did he?"

"Oh yeah, I speak fluent dog." Phil nods solemnly, committing to the bit. "I'm so excited for my bath" he says putting on a high pitched yet somewhat croaky voice that is meant to be an imitation of Colin. 

"Alright then," Dan says, "You go put the water on and I'll get the dog shampoo." 

He fetches what he needs from the cupboard under the kitchen sink and makes his way back to the bathroom where Phil is kneeling on the floor his knees sliding on the bath mat. Colin is hopping around him and Phil is distracted, not watching the water but playing with the dog instead. Dan leans against the doorframe and watches, trying to decide which is cuter, his dog excitedly bounding about or his boyfriend on the floor play fighting with him. This wasn't how he thought today was going to go but he's infinitely happy that it did. 

"Having fun there?"

Phil looks up a little red faced as if only just noticing Dna has returned. 

"Me and Colin are fighting for dominance," Phil giggles.

"Yeah? Who's winning?" Dan kneels down too and reaches over to turn the water in the bath off, having reached the correct level. He doesn't want to overfill it and end up flooding the bathroom. 

"To be honest probably Colin, but I don't mind." 

"Of course you don't." Dan grins over at him and then looks down at the dog. "You ready for a bath?" 

Colin seems to understand what that means and hops up on his hind legs, rest his front paws on the edge of the bath, sniffing his wet nose over the rim of it as if inspecting what is in there. 

"Up we go," Phil says, cradling his body in his large hands and lifting Colin into the water. 

The dog is momentarily surprised and he lets out a little yap of shock as he enters the water and all too soon Dan realises they should have been more prepared for what comes next. 

Someone had asked him on Twitter whether Colin was good at having a bath, whether he behaved, and Dan had replied that he was going to find out. Turns out, Colin loves the bath. A little too much. 

He's jumping and splashing in the water, sending waves of it up and over both Dan and Phil and they both hold their hands up to shield themselves from the onslaught.

"Colin, Colin, calm--" Dan is saying, trying to reach out and stop the dog in his tracks. 

Phil's laughter is echoing off the tiles and Dan is pretty sure Phil is just as joyful about this situation as Colin is. He doesn't seem to mind getting drenched from head to toe anyway.

Dan screeches as a spray of water douses his jacket, soaking his collar. Phil is still laughing, his hands splayed reaching out for Colin, catching his fur which has gone even more curly in the moisture. This is something Dan understands. 

Colin is sopping wet now, his fur drenched and shrunken, he looks much smaller than he is. 

"Can you just grab him?" Dan says as Colin barks again and another jolt of water is sent in Dan's direction. 

Phil leans over, his t-shirt turned dark all down the front, but he doesn't seem put off, simply reaches a gentle hand to capture Colin and hold him still, tentative and careful like he is in all things. 

"Got him," Phil announces, giving Dan an amused smile that tells him everything about how he must look right now, wet and bedraggled. 

"Right, let's just wash him and get him out before this bathroom gets any more flooded." 

He's kneeling in a puddle of water now, the fabric of his jeans saturated with it so that they cling to his shins. 

Phil holds an excited Colin between his hands while Dan reaches for the dog shampoo, lathering up his curly fur, feeling the thick texture of it between his fingers. 

"He's curly like you," Phil notes. 

Dan tilts his head and glares at him in exasperation. "Are you saying my hair is akin to that of a dog?" 

Phil just smirks and his tongue pokes out of the corner, his shoulders shaking so that he loses his grip on Colin slightly. The devious hound, surprised by his new found freedom, moves suddenly, turning in a quick, tight circles, creating waves in the bath water. There is a flick of water and suds thrown into the air and a huge bubble of it lands on Phil's forehead, dripping slowly across his eyebrow.

"Ah!" Phil yells, diving across Dan to reach for a towel on the rail behind him. 

Dan laughs as Phil mops at his face, his breath caught in this chest, wheezing and loud.

"It's not funny, Dan!" he protests.

"It was funny when it happened to me though?" 

"That's different." 

"Sure it was." 

Colin has settled, covered in suds, his little head cocked to the side, ears and eyes looking much bigger than usual due to the reduction in fluff, fur slicked to his skull with water. 

"What do you think?" Dan asks him uselessly. Colin barks. "See, Colin agrees." 

"Traitor." Phil says, dropping the towel and looking sideways at Colin who wags his tail, splashing yet more water. 

Dan reaches for the shower head and makes quick work of rinsing him off, taking the plug out of the bath and letting the bubbles drain away.

"I want to do it," Phil asks, and he looks so sweet that Dan passes over the shower head without really thinking about the implications. 

It's fine at first, Phil running his large slender fingers over Colin's fur, making sure all the soapy residue is rinsed away, but as soon as he's finished, and Colin is sitting happily in the bath staring up at them, Phil turns the shower head quickly towards Dan sending a jet of water directly over him before turning it back into the bath so that he doesn't cause too much damage to the bathroom. 

"What the f--" Dan shrieks as the water hits him square in the face. "You twat." 

Phil turns the tap off so that the water is stopped and Dan picks up the discarded towel and swipes at his face.

"That's what you get," Phil says, reaching to pick Colin up again and take him out of the bath. 

Dan is ready with the towel and he rubs at Colin's fur rapidly, ruffling it so that is sticks out at awkward angles, fluffy and odd. He can't get him fully dry, but it's enough so that he's not dripping everywhere. 

Setting Colin free again he surveys the scene. There is water everywhere, a lake of it on the bathroom floor that he quickly rests the towel over, pressing it with his foot to mop up the worst of it. He and Phil are both drenched head to toe and Colin shakes himself, sending spots of water all over the bathroom wall and the door. 

"I think your parents are going to regret asking us to do this," Phil points out. 

"Probably," Dan agrees, shielding his face from the onslaught of Conlin's frantic shaking. Once he's finished, Colin moves forward to press his grey muzzle against Dan's bare arm and Dan jumps. 

"Yeah, yeah, you little monster." He can't help but sound fond, running a hand over the damp fur of Colin's ears affectionately. "Don't expect us to be nice to you now you've practically drowned us." 

"He didn't mean it," Phil insists, scratching at the cream coloured fur of Colin's back, Colin turns to look at him happily. "He thought we'd like a bath too." 

"More of that 'fluent-in-dog' knowledge there, Phil?" 

Phil nods and Colin barks as if agreeing. 

Dan rolls his eyes, but he's still smiling. These two. Honestly.

"Is this how it's going to be when we get a dog?" Dan asks Phil seriously, watching as COlin tries to clamber into Phil's lap, rubbing his wet body along him, trying to dry off. "You both ganging up on me." 

"Of course," Phil says, not looking at Dan but down at Colin, "Our dog will definitely love me more." 

"You wish," Dan says fondly throwing the wet towel at him. "Spork."

They stand up from the floor, Phil's knees cracking and Dan smirks at him preparing to make the running joke of Phil being old. 

"Shut up," Phil preempts before Dan gets a chance to make it. 

"Didn't say anything."

"You were going to." 

Dan turns to swipe at the floor with the towel again, which is now heavy and water-laden. He gets most of it up so that it doesn't look like a complete disaster but his mum will probably still give him shit for it later. Serves them right for asking him to do it in the first place though. 

Phil opens the door while Dan is doing this and Colin is off like a shot, running through the house at a mad speed. Dan drops the towel and he and Phil chase after him. 

"What the--" 

"Colin!" 

They follow him down the stairs and watch as he starts dragging himself along the sides of all the couches, rubbing his head and body along them. 

"What is he doing?" Phil asks, a terrified look on his face. "Have we broken the dog? Dan, we broke your dog!" 

Dan is laughing. "I think it's a scent thing," he shrugs, watching as the mad dog rubs himself against the armchair, "like, we washed off the scent of home and now he's trying to put it back on." 

Phil just grins and reaches out to pull Dan over to him, shoves his face into the space between Dan's neck and shoulder. He's there for all of a second before yelping and pulling back. 

"Gah! You're all wet." 

"What were you even doing?" Dan asks, noting that his jacket is indeed soaked, his collar particularly damp but a dark patch along the entire front of one side and the cuffs of the arms uncomfortably wet on his wrists.

"I was trying to be all soppy and say you were my home and rub myself all on you." 

Dan pretends to screw up his face, like the idea doesn't make his stomach flip over.

"But you were all wet and horrible so it wasn't pleasant." 

"Well," Dan says, shoving at him, "That's what you get for being a great big sap." 

"You love it," Phil insists. 

"Come on," Dan says, tugging on Phil's arm and leaving Colin to his crazy rush around the front room. "Let's get out of these wet clothes and when Colin is dried off you can help me take a selfie with him." 

"You're going to post a selfie with your dog?" 

"Give the people what they want Phil," Dan says at they climb the stairs. "Give the people what they want." 

Phil rolls his eyes, because as much as Dan will pass it off as doing it entirely for the fans that have been screaming at him for a Colin picture on Twitter all morning, Dan can't really hide it, he is aware that Phil knows that he just wants a cute picture with his dog, because he loves the heck out of that fluff ball. 

Dan has a mug and a shirt with the dogs face on and he passes them off like they're gag gifts but Phil is always watching him smile every time he looks at it and must see the slight pang of longing on his face for a dog of his own, not just one he visits at his parents' house. 

"One day we'll be sharing pictures of our own doggo," Phil says, yanking his wet shirt off and reading Dan's mind as usual.

"Yeah," Dan smiles, "I can't wait."


End file.
